I got this message a while ago:
So mysterious! Is “garte” even better than great? What exactly does “hi sexie tattoosit” mean? Nothing is more alluring than mystery, so I clicked to see her profile.
First we get what she doesn’t want. Fair enough. A few spelling problems there, but I don’t judge people based solely on their grammar, nor think I’m better than them, so I have no reason to “step.” Let’s see what she does want:
Let’s stop there for a second. Wanting peace is usually considered a pretty noble goal. So she can’t mean that. Wait…she can’t mean..is she trying to say “more than a piece of ass”? Because that’s not even a spelling mistake or a typo. That’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the underlying concept she is trying to express.
I know where I going in I live.
Well, at least she got to 10, a nice round number, and ended it on a coherent sentence fragment. Wait what’s that? There’s more?
A second creative spelling of great! Worm at night! BABBIES!
There is nothing I can say to make this funnier. I literally LOLed at it until I cried.
But somehow it gets better. Interests:
Again we see another seemingly random word with “tattoo” thrown in. What is tattooingstorts?! What does it have to do with “hanging out with my zoo”?!
WHAT IS BINKE?!
Then a double dose of irony, with “lren from,” and yet again, an interest in poetry.
Oh and you’ll never guess what kind of tattoo she has.
I feel a bit horrible for singling out one person like this. But come on.
See also: Volume 5