Christmas Unwrapping Wrap-Up

I had a great Christmas (THANKS FOR ASKING), which included getting a lot of great gifts. Case in point: I have been asking for a Chia Pet for Christmas for as long as I could write lists. Every year I was spoiled with the latest electronics and more socks than I could count (srsly anyone need socks?), but never a Chia Pet.

That finally changed this year, when I unwrapped not one, but two Chia products. The first was a Homer Simpson Chia Pet. It is supposed to look like this:

Look at that full globe of Chia hair! It’s funny because he’s usually bald!

Here is what it actually looks like:

Yeah, that’s a funnel coming out of his sparsely-covered head. Chia Homer is not as easy to care for as they would have you believe. Water constantly collects in that drip tray, and you have to recycle it into the top of his head once a day or more.

Let’s get a closer look.

Ahh god! He looks more like a coked-out Dracula, or this guy. You should watch your children around this Chia Pet.1

And obviously I couldn’t resist giving him a … moustache. Or whatever that is.

The second Chia product was a Chia herb garden. A label on the box insists “Chef’s favorite!” And you know, it’s been growing nicely for me, but if I walked into the back of a restaurant and saw the chef plucking herbs from a Chia Pet, I don’t think I’d return. We are talking about herbs that grow on a sponge instead of real soil.

Another unexpected gift was my Ninja Turtles Snuggie.

Oh, sorry, “throw blanket with sleeves.”

The fleece really is soft, and feeling it reminds me of last year’s ShamWow incident. It keeps me so warm, and makes me feel just like Leonardo, except without the swords or douchiness. Anyone would be happy to own a TMNT Snuggie.

Wait…what’s this?

What’s with the attitude, anime Snuggie box guy? Your girlfriend appreciates her throw blanket with sleeves; what do you have to be so pissed off about? Is it your screwed up fetus fingers? Get over it.

Oh, and yet more cartoon clothing goodness came from my sister, who imported these beauties all the way from Korea.

No, you can’t see out of them when they are zipped up. I think the impracticality makes them all the more awesome.

So yeah, best Christmas ever.

———-
Footnotes:

1 Shut up Nancy and Dan.

#ldnfavs09 ?


Posted

by

Comments

22 responses to “Christmas Unwrapping Wrap-Up”

  1. Blondie Avatar

    this is… but I can't even… but I don't… and then I want… and I can't…

    Like

  2.  Avatar

    this is… but I can't even… but I don't… and then I want… and I can't…

    Like

  3. Blondie Avatar

    oh hai, sorry about that. I was so overtaken by the awesomeness of each gift that I couldn't speak. My body temperature thermometer, pressing cloth, pot of vicks and olympics mittens really pale in comparison. To all of it.

    oh, and also: OMG it's getting so big! I'm very proud of it. It's funny looking though; I might blog about him. It.

    Like

  4.  Avatar

    oh hai, sorry about that. I was so overtaken by the awesomeness of each gift that I couldn't speak. My body temperature thermometer, pressing cloth, pot of vicks and olympics mittens really pale in comparison. To all of it. oh, and also: OMG it's getting so big! I'm very proud of it. It's funny looking though; I might blog about him. It.

    Like

  5. carissajade Avatar

    You got the best Christmas presents EVER!!!

    I'm super jealous of your Chia pet. The guy I'm dating has a TMNT snuggie and I'm all over that shiz.I'm probably gonna steal it.

    Like

  6.  Avatar

    You got the best Christmas presents EVER!!!I'm super jealous of your Chia pet. The guy I'm dating has a TMNT snuggie and I'm all over that shiz.I'm probably gonna steal it.

    Like

  7. sarah Avatar

    You're so funny. 🙂

    Also, I can't believe more than one person I have encountered has a TMNT snuggie. What a strange world we live in.

    Like

  8.  Avatar

    You're so funny. :)Also, I can't believe more than one person I have encountered has a TMNT snuggie. What a strange world we live in.

    Like

  9. Katrina Avatar

    That Homer Chia is really freaking me out. I can't handle what's going on on his face. Seriously, I couldn't stop staring at it — it's like a train wreck. The image is seared into my brain.

    I am also extremely jealous of your completely impractical Mario hoodie. I want one.

    Like

  10.  Avatar

    That Homer Chia is really freaking me out. I can't handle what's going on on his face. Seriously, I couldn't stop staring at it — it's like a train wreck. The image is seared into my brain. I am also extremely jealous of your completely impractical Mario hoodie. I want one.

    Like

  11. Wendy Avatar

    This entry was _dangerously_ funny to read in the middle of lecture.

    Like

  12.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This entry was dangerously funny to read in the middle of lecture.

    Like

  13. Jay Ferris Avatar

    At least we now know what the serial rapist offspring of Homer Simpson and Swamp Thing would look like.

    Like

  14.  Avatar

    At least we now know what the serial rapist offspring of Homer Simpson and Swamp Thing would look like.

    Like

  15. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Like

  16.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Like

  17. Candice Avatar

    Huge fan of the ninja turtle snuggie. HUGE.

    Like

  18.  Avatar

    Huge fan of the ninja turtle snuggie. HUGE.

    Like

  19. Hey Lady! Avatar

    I would think the Ninja Turtle “sleeved blanket” or whatever it's called would only come in children's sizes, I'm shocked and encouraged to hear it comes in adult sizes (unless you're really short, but I think you mentioned before being 5'9 which is fairly normal sized).

    The Mario hoodies, awesome! The Homer Chia pet, super creepy. Glad to hear you have a fruitful Christmas!

    Like

  20.  Avatar

    I would think the Ninja Turtle “sleeved blanket” or whatever it's called would only come in children's sizes, I'm shocked and encouraged to hear it comes in adult sizes (unless you're really short, but I think you mentioned before being 5'9 which is fairly normal sized). The Mario hoodies, awesome! The Homer Chia pet, super creepy. Glad to hear you have a fruitful Christmas!

    Like

  21. Steph Avatar

    I'm totally late, but great gifts!

    Like

  22.  Avatar

    I'm totally late, but great gifts!

    Like

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com