Cape Fear

What’s the point of capes? I know people don’t really wear them any more, unless they are vampires or Philip Zimbardo, but they must have been in fashion at some point.

All a cape does is cover your back in a thin layer of cloth. Why? For warmth? Because I’ve never really heard anyone complain about having a cold back.1 “Brrrr, my back is freezing! I wish I had a piece of cloth awkwardly tied around my neck to cover it up!”

The front side is the one that’s usually sensitive to cold, so clothing is best layered on that side. That’s why I propose that the reverse-cape come into fashion. It’d be a bit shorter than most capes, to prevent tripping issues, and double as a way of keeping bits of food, globs of mustard, and Cheeto dust off your shirt. Style and function. Also known as a bib.

1 Unless they are giving someone the cold shoulder BWAHAAAAHAAHAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!


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16 responses to “Cape Fear”

  1. Helen Avatar

    Or, uh, a scarf…

    Like

  2.  Avatar

    Or, uh, a scarf…

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  3. Phronk Avatar

    Dude, scarfs wrap around rather than hanging down. So different.

    I would have accepted “apron” as an alternative, though. Better luck next time.

    Like

  4.  Avatar

    Dude, scarfs wrap around rather than hanging down. So different.I would have accepted “apron” as an alternative, though. Better luck next time.

    Like

  5. EVILFLU Avatar

    Capes are sexy (and really good to hide a hunchback or big bum) 😉

    Like

  6.  Avatar

    Capes are sexy (and really good to hide a hunchback or big bum) 😉

    Like

  7. Mr. Wisdumb Avatar

    Edna Mode (of the Incredibles) agrees with Phronk:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68ndaZSKa8

    Like

  8.  Avatar

    Edna Mode (of the Incredibles) agrees with Phronk:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68ndaZSKa8

    Like

  9. Dyl Avatar

    Capes are a very swishy accessory 🙂
    I wore one for my wedding. but then I was dressed up as a supervillain lol.

    They're no more useless than ties…

    Like

  10.  Avatar

    Capes are a very swishy accessory :-)I wore one for my wedding. but then I was dressed up as a supervillain lol.They're no more useless than ties…

    Like

  11. thehappylainy Avatar

    Umm.. guess you didn't go to Super Hero School. You need a cape to to fly. Ever seen the Incredibles where they pointed out that lots of super hero died of freakish cape accidents? hahaaa

    Like

  12.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Umm.. guess you didn't go to Super Hero School. You need a cape to to fly. Ever seen the Incredibles where they pointed out that lots of super hero died of freakish cape accidents? hahaaa

    Like

  13. Phronk Avatar

    Hehe oh man, I gotta see that movie again.

    Dyl, if you actually dressed as a supervillain, that's the most awesome wedding ever.

    Like

  14.  Avatar

    Hehe oh man, I gotta see that movie again.Dyl, if you actually dressed as a supervillain, that's the most awesome wedding ever.

    Like

  15. shine Avatar

    The cape is more of a status thing. How will anyone know you're a superhero without a cape?

    My apron is really cute, though. I think I'll stick with that.

    Like

  16.  Avatar

    The cape is more of a status thing. How will anyone know you're a superhero without a cape?My apron is really cute, though. I think I'll stick with that.

    Like

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