OK so I was asked to write about this game called Last Tango in Jadac, created to promote some show called ZOS on The Movie Network. I didn’t think it was worth wasting my time on some crappy promotional Flash game, but I clicked anyway, and got sorta sucked into the whole fuck-up-edness of it.

The game is like a cross between a David Lynch movie, Doom, the strangest version of Guitar Hero ever, and one of those horrible full-motion-video games from the early 90s when video games first started coming on compact discs, and the best use of all that storage capacity was to make games more like movies.

Like, remember games like Night Trap and The 7th Guest? We all thought the graphics were amazing because they looked sorta real, and it didn’t matter so much that you didn’t actually play the game so much as watch it and click stuff once in a while. The most fun I had with The 7th Guest was going with friends into A-Plus Software (remember when there were stores that just sold software?), finding the game’s sex scene on the demo computers there, then turning the volume to max and running away. Those were the good old days.

Ah, but speaking of sex scenes, one of the best parts of this little web game is when you get to direct a porn video. Not exactly something you see every day. Ok…well…something you see every day (perv), but not in such an interactive way.

The game really comes down to clicking stuff and hoping you do it in the right order and don’t randomly die. I couldn’t figure out how to not die, actually. Maybe that’s the point. I dunno. Have I mentioned it’s really fucked up? But it’s worth seeing for the creepy atmosphere, and it certainly served its purpose of getting me interested in a show that I had absolutely no desire to see after just reading a description of it (“a Canadian mini-series about the life and death struggle to enforce a U.N.-brokered ceasefire in the fictional, Sarajevo-like town of Jadac.” Sorry, but you lost me at “Canadian.”)

Click if you’ve got nothing better to do for an hour.

Here’s a little taste, mostly for the ladies.