Last month, I went to a Christmas party where they were doing this secret Santa gift exchange thing; everyone brings a small wrapped gift and puts it under the tree, then people pick gifts in random order. When my number came up, I attempted to use my psychic materialism powers to sniff out the very best gift. I opened the bag that the spirits guided me to, and inside were…two pieces of cloth.
I didn’t really know anyone at this party, but suddenly a room full of strangers were screaming the word “SHAMWOW!” at me. I thought maybe I’d stumbled into a cult who developed their own freakish language, in which “shamwow” means “you got a shitty gift.” Then someone poured their drink all over the floor. “Shamwow,” he grunted, pointing at the spilled booze like an astronaut trying to communicate with a mildly drunk alien race. I spread one of the cloths over the spill, wiped it away, and like magic, the floor was clean.
In case you don’t already know, this is ShamWow:
Remember kids: boring tuna, boring life.
Phronk.com 
Comments
20 responses to “ShamWow”
I tried in vain to convince my fiance that a ShamWow would be a great Christmas gift exchange present, but he wouldn’t go for it 😦Glad to hear that it works!
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I tried in vain to convince my fiance that a ShamWow would be a great Christmas gift exchange present, but he wouldn’t go for it :(Glad to hear that it works!
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“You’re going to love my nuts”Best Thing I have heard All Day.
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“You’re going to love my nuts”Best Thing I have heard All Day.
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oh my god.slapchop is the greatest thing have seen- in my life.no more boring life
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oh my god.slapchop is the greatest thing have seen- in my life.no more boring life
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I wanna slap-chop my hand, and then use the shamwow to mop it up and stop the bleeding–it’s the only thing on the market that can do both!
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I wanna slap-chop my hand, and then use the shamwow to mop it up and stop the bleeding–it’s the only thing on the market that can do both!
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That man is one hell of a salesman!And I agree with KVL. Almost did a spit-take when he said that.
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That man is one hell of a salesman!And I agree with KVL. Almost did a spit-take when he said that.
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This is your first step. The second step is having your very own Snuggie!
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This is your first step. The second step is having your very own Snuggie!
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Canada is such a strange place with some weird people!!!!!
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Canada is such a strange place with some weird people!!!!!
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HAHAHAHA! I am going to make America thin again one slap at a time – except I am going to just slap people eating McFood.Also – my nuts? You’re going to love them.
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HAHAHAHA! I am going to make America thin again one slap at a time – except I am going to just slap people eating McFood.Also – my nuts? You’re going to love them.
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hahahahahahhahahahahaaa.
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hahahahahahhahahahahaaa.
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Believe it or not, I owned both of these products before they were ShamWOW and Slap Chop!
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Believe it or not, I owned both of these products before they were ShamWOW and Slap Chop!
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