Captain’s Log, Stardate -314189.617328223

Today, in the bathroom, I glanced at the gap under one of the stall doors and noticed that there was a guy in there who had taken his shoes off while he took a dump. I could also hear the faint tinny sound of music playing through headphones. Not only is it kinda gross to take off one’s shoes in a dirty bathroom stall, but is it really necessary to get that comfortable in order to poo?

A lot of people read while they crap, but I find even that strange. How long does it take to shit? Personally, it takes me no more than 5 minutes to pinch off a good sized loaf. Hardly enough time to get through even a short magazine article. When I do find something interesting to read in someone else’s bathroom, I end up sitting there for 20 minutes until my legs are tingly and people start assuming I don’t eat enough fiber.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a log entry of a different kind.





8 responses to “Captain’s Log, Stardate -314189.617328223”

  1. Anonymous Avatar

    After reading this post…… I am having a serious case of man love Mike……:)Dan


  2. Ubersehen Avatar

    I read (in this case ‘read’ can be used interchangeably in the present or past tense) so often on the toilet for long durations of time that when I started getting partial numbness in my legs two years ago, I suspected it might be connected. It wasn’t.Then the walk-in clinic dude scared me into thinking it was M.S. Then it wasn’t, either. Then it went away. That is my story.


  3. wrh Avatar

    This will get me through an otherwise dreary Friday.Many Thanks.


  4. Phronk Avatar

    Many ‘welcomes. I love you all.


  5. Von Avatar

    I once knew a guy who could NOT take a dump without being completely naked. 🙂 Yes, even if it was in a bar. He would take off all his clothes, neatly fold them and place them in pile on the floor, and then go. I think that’s a lot more strange than: a) reading while on the toilet, b) taking a laptop into the washroom, c) playing your DS on the can, d) taking an important call while taking a dump, and waiting for the conversation to end before flushing…etc etc…LOL.


  6. tornwordo Avatar

    You’re speaking my language. Spouse takes off his robe to poo. He needs to be buck naked. I don’t know if I’ve ever been aware of him pooping anywhere but home.


  7. Phronk Avatar

    That is REALLY weird. I think I’d have more trouble pooing naked. It’d be cold. And in a bar? In a guy’s washroom, there’s often not a surface unspoiled by some bodily fluid to put clothes down on (or even sit on, which makes pooping in a bar risky even if not naked).



    If you’re not shitting for at least 10 mins you’re doing something wrong.


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