Food Logic Volume 7: Oreo + Apple Juice


A wise person has revealed to me a breakthrough discovery in the science of food mathematics. Here is the formula:

Oreo Cookie + Apple Juice = Dirty Sweaty Gym Sock

There is no logic behind this. It is an irreducible truth.

On a related note, remember Neon Oreos? So do I! But it seems that records of their existence have been all but eliminated from the internet. A Google Image search for Neon Oreo finds absolutely nothing. I think it’s an attempt by Nabisco, under the shadowy umbrella corporation of Kraft Foods, to cover up the horrible 80s obsession with neon colours. Sure, we all know it was a mistake, but censorship is not the answer.

Here are some beautiful song lyrics for you:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooreo. oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooreo.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooreo. oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooreo.
Get loose everybody cause were gonna do our thing.
(rap:) cause you know it aint over till the fat lady sings.
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooreo, just hangin tough. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooreo, hangin tough.

———-

See also: Food Logic, Volume 6.


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Comments

10 responses to “Food Logic Volume 7: Oreo + Apple Juice”

  1. Jennifer Avatar

    Weird Al, you ain’t.“But I love the filling mostI rub it on my roastMix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast”Mmmm double stuff.

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  2.  Avatar

    Weird Al, you ain’t.”But I love the filling mostI rub it on my roastMix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast”Mmmm double stuff.

    Like

  3. Phronk Avatar

    Haha that’s probably what I was actually thinking of. Weird Al is better and I suck.

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  4.  Avatar

    Haha that’s probably what I was actually thinking of. Weird Al is better and I suck.

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  5. Candice Avatar

    Never tried Oreos and apple juice (don’t really like either one to begin with), but I do know that chocolate + orange juice = rancid butter.

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  6.  Avatar

    Never tried Oreos and apple juice (don’t really like either one to begin with), but I do know that chocolate + orange juice = rancid butter.

    Like

  7. Pavel Chekov Avatar

    I still have neon clothew from the 80’s. waiting for it to come back into fashion.

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  8.  Avatar

    I still have neon clothew from the 80’s. waiting for it to come back into fashion.

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  9. SharkBoy Avatar

    we had a huge 80’s flashback having spent the last week in Midwestern USA… I mean they still wear their jeans with rips at the knees… RIPS AT THE KNEES!!!!

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  10.  Avatar

    we had a huge 80’s flashback having spent the last week in Midwestern USA… I mean they still wear their jeans with rips at the knees… RIPS AT THE KNEES!!!!

    Like