Puppy Scratches and Handwritten Bar Stamp

I woke up on my couch, my shirt covered in crumbs. I tried to swallow, and my mouth was full of crumbs too. I guess I was so dehydrated that the nachos I’d stuffed in my mouth and half-chewed, in a futile attempt to avoid a hangover, had dried to a crumble.

The picture above was on my phone. I guess I was impressed with the badass scratches all over my arm.


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13 responses to “Puppy Scratches and Handwritten Bar Stamp”

  1. The Holywriter Avatar

    It looks more like a tattoo.

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  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    It looks more like a tattoo.

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  3. von Avatar

    Dude, you made it into a dream of mine. I won’t tell you the parts that embarassed me, but I’ll tell you parts that might embarass you (and I guess me at the same time): Apparently you were a model, with some acting skillz, and starred in some weird indie film that was absolutely amazing (something like Blair Witch). And you stopped modelling because the modelling industry was vapid. Best part: You did photoshoots in the form of Calvin Klein underwear ads. I have a mental picture of it now, but I assume the body that had your head on it was my idealized form of you…:P LOL. *insert sarcastic note*…I’m not creepy at all!Aside from that, did you write that bar stamp on your arm just to pretend that you went to a bar?

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  4. von Avatar

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Dude, you made it into a dream of mine. I won’t tell you the parts that embarassed me, but I’ll tell you parts that might embarass you (and I guess me at the same time): Apparently you were a model, with some acting skillz, and starred in some weird indie film that was absolutely amazing (something like Blair Witch). And you stopped modelling because the modelling industry was vapid. Best part: You did photoshoots in the form of Calvin Klein underwear ads. I have a mental picture of it now, but I assume the body that had your head on it was my idealized form of you…:P LOL. insert sarcastic note…I’m not creepy at all!Aside from that, did you write that bar stamp on your arm just to pretend that you went to a bar?

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  6. Phronk Avatar

    I tattooed it there so it always looks like I just came from a bar.That is an <>awesome<> dream, Von. I like how realistic it is, given my extreme good looks and acting skills. The only inaccuracy in your description is that there is no such thing as an idealized form of my body. It is already beyond ideal.I had a similar dream last night. I was taking a class on human sexuality, and Ron Jeremy was the professor. He seemed really nervous about teaching, though, and kept asking people in the class to go buy him snacks. He then demonstrated the latest video game that his young children were playing, and I didn’t really see the connection with human sexuality before waking up.Wait, that’s not similar at all…

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  7.  Avatar

    I tattooed it there so it always looks like I just came from a bar.That is an awesome dream, Von. I like how realistic it is, given my extreme good looks and acting skills. The only inaccuracy in your description is that there is no such thing as an idealized form of my body. It is already beyond ideal.I had a similar dream last night. I was taking a class on human sexuality, and Ron Jeremy was the professor. He seemed really nervous about teaching, though, and kept asking people in the class to go buy him snacks. He then demonstrated the latest video game that his young children were playing, and I didn’t really see the connection with human sexuality before waking up.Wait, that’s not similar at all…

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  8. Von Avatar

    Maybe the similarity is between you and Ron Jeremy?And maybe it was an indie porn flick.Maybe I had that dream because you mentioned you were going to the gym everyday… Add on a gigantic…confidence, and you’re totally porn material!

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  9.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Maybe the similarity is between you and Ron Jeremy?And maybe it was an indie porn flick.Maybe I had that dream because you mentioned you were going to the gym everyday… Add on a gigantic…confidence, and you’re totally porn material!

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  10. Phronk Avatar

    My confidence is six feet long.

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  11.  Avatar

    My confidence is six feet long.

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  12. Adorable Girlfriend Avatar

    Sounds like a full night to me. Not much different from AG’s weekends.

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  13.  Avatar

    Sounds like a full night to me. Not much different from AG’s weekends.

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