He'll Never Call

Here is another flyer I got in my mail:

I’ve already written about my feelings toward Rogers Home Phone advertising ([SPOILER ALERT] it sucks). Now look what they put in my mailbox. Why are these people so happy about a phone? From their faces, they’re like OMFG A PHONE!!! OUR LIVES WERE SHIT BUT THIS PHONE REALLY EASES THE PAIN!!! MAYBE DADDY WILL CALL SOMEDAY!!!

Unless they’re from 1850, phones are everyday objects. Even a free one is not worth getting ecstatically excited over. Do they laugh in uncontrollable glee every time the dentist gives them a free toothbrush?

Well, maybe, seeing as how their entire job revolves around showing as much tooth as possible.

Oh well, at least they’re not those damn Rogers “we communicate through Facebook while we’re within 3 feet of each other” kids.


This is the 2nd in an unintentional series of posts about crappy flyers in my mail. See also: Batpizza.


Bonus! More awesome advertising, this time from Future Shop:

That sale can’t last long.


Bonus #2!

Dead Robot’s remix of the Roger’s ad will keep you glued to your seat.


5 responses to “He'll Never Call”

  1.  Avatar

    Save zero dollars made me laugh.


  2.  Avatar

    I really hate unneccessarily happy people. Smiling for a home phone is about as unneccessary as one can get.Good postie.


  3.  Avatar

    It’s time for you and Rogers to end this distructive relationship you kids have going on!


  4.  Avatar

    Actually, I get that ecstatic when my dentist hands me a toothbrush. 🙂 It’s better than the bill.


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