So I get home from the gym writhing with hunger, but I haven’t been shopping for a while, so all that’s left is bits and pieces left over from exotic meals past. But instead of being afraid to mix ethnicities, I threw those bits and pieces together, into what, one might argue, is the greatest thing that anybody has stuffed into their mouth before (*). Behold:

Phronk’s Vegetarian Indian Thai Pizza

1 piece of President’s Choice garlic naan bread
1/3rd of a large onion, sliced
1/3rd of a medium sized potato, thinly sliced (boiled if you like it soft, but I like it hard (*))
1 normal sized clove of garlic
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 tablespoon your favourite hot sauce, but not Frank’s Red Hot because it SUCKS
3 or 4 tablespoons sour cream
1 tablespoon red curry paste
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 cup shredded cheese (I used cheddar, but mozza would be good too)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Celsius.

2. Saute the onions, garlic, and potatoes in the oil and hot sauce until just slightly brown.

3. Mix the red curry paste and fish sauce into the sour cream until it’s a beautiful bright pink colour. Adjust paste/fish sauce/sour cream ratio to taste. Spread the sauce evenly on the naan bread, leaving a bit of room on the edge for a crust. Because it always sucks when pizza has no crust and you have nowhere to hold onto. And eating it with a knife and fork is just wrong.

4. Spread a bit (but not all) of the cheese on top of the sauce.

5. Spoon the onion/garlic/potato mixture onto the bread, making sure each ingredient is evenly distributed.

6. Spread the rest of the cheese on top.

7. Put in oven for about 10 minutes, watching carefully. When it starts getting crispy around the edges, put the oven on broil until the cheese is bubbling and slightly brown.

8. Remove from oven. Let sit for 2 minutes. Cut into slices. Eat.

Serves two. Has no calories because the spice boosts metabolism exactly enough to even them out. Actually seriously tastes really good.

(*) “Insert” penis joke here.

See also: Phronk’s “This Tastes So Fucking Awesome” Stuffing-Topped Chicken Vegetable Rice Meal Replacement Casserole Bake