"Say Your Right Words", the Goblins Said

Here are some more words I do not like:

  • “Grout”: What a gross word. Plus, grout itself is gross. It always starts out white, but a few days later it’s black and brown with dirt, dead skin, slime, and who knows what else. This is why I like my floors carpeted.
  • “Woo Woo”, or just “Woo” (in reference to bullshit paranormal stuff): What are you, 6 years old? Nothing puts an end to serious scientific and skeptical discussions like suddenly breaking into babbling baby-speak.
  • “Rafe”: I apologize in advance if your name is Rafe, but dude, you have a really stupid name. I watched Pearl Harbor recently, and got distracted because I thought they were constantly talking about sexual assault. “No, self”, I said to myself, “it’s Rafe, with an F.” If you look up the meaning of the name Rafe, you will see the following entry: “from a German word meaning a huge douchebag; Ben Affleck.” True story.

To keep from being all negative, here are some words that I do like:

  • “Bacon”: Because bacon is just inherently funny. So is pork.
  • “Antediluvian”: This is a fun word to say. Antediluvian antediluvian antediluvian. Ahh, that felt good. Don’t know what it means? Try THIS informative site.
  • “The Cat’s Ass” (in reference to something that is awesome): This may have gone out of style 50 years ago, but I think it’s time for a comeback. Kids, next time you’re out on a date, please tell your lady friend, “baby, I really think you’re the cat’s ass.” You are guaranteed to get laid.

Here are more words that I hate.





6 responses to “"Say Your Right Words", the Goblins Said”

  1. Candice Avatar

    I use “woo”, but only if I’m making fun of something or someone. I think the baby-speakitude of the word is appropriate, given the intellectual content of many of the things I’d apply it to. But you’re right about one thing — I’d never use it in a serious discussion. Not that I ever have serious discussions, so that’s kinda hypothetical…


  2. Pavel Chekov Avatar

    Love that picture.


  3. SharkBoy Avatar

    love the tatt…


  4. Jason Avatar

    It sucks not having blog access at work. I’m so behind… I don’t know how you have time to do your Phd, write a novel, teach, and well live. I can barely feed myself.


  5. Phronk Avatar

    Candice: True, it can be appropriate for the level of thought some people put into the things w- er…THAT WORD – applies too. But see? I can’t even type it. Maybe I had a bad experience with it as a child.Chekov & Sharkboy: Yeah, I love gross cat butts too. Jason: The secret is to neglect friends and family, and put very little thought into everything you do.


  6. limpy99 Avatar

    That has to be the worst tattoo ever.


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