Here are four of my earliest memories from childhood:
- In elementary school, we used to have classes where we learned about drugs, and how to not do them (anyone remember Safety Kids?). After one of these classes, I remember going out for recess with my friends, and finding a suspicious mass on the ground. It consisted of tiny white tubes, all stuck closely together. A mysterious powder clung to the tubes. Naturally, we thought that it was drugs. We poked it with a stick a few times then ran far away, saying no to drugs just like the Safety Kids songs told us to. Years later, after an adventurous trip to the grocery store, I realized the “drugs” were a discarded package of uncooked Mr. Noodle.
- I had heard people talking about “rap music”, but had never actually heard this new kind of music for myself. I wondered what it sounded like. Then I heard Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody on the radio, followed by the DJ announcing that I had just heard “Bohemian Rap City”. Ohhh, so that’s what rap sounds like. Queen. Freddy Mercury was such a gangstah.
- I remember driving around with my parents when I lived in Edmonton. Unless my memory is making this up, there is a road in Edmonton called “Mud Drive”. I remember seeing the signs on the highway pointing the way to this road: “Mud Dr.” I thought to myself: “Mud doctor? What the hell is a mud doctor?”
- I was pondering about the nature of memory one day when I was very young, and taking a piss. I wondered what made you sometimes remember something, like some small insignificant thing, for a very long time. I decided that I would try to force myself to remember something trivial for the rest of my life, to see if it is possible. So I memorized that moment: Me standing there, peeing in the toilet. I still remember it in quite a bit of detail…I especially remember that it was a beautiful summer day, and the sunlight was shining through the window, casting rays of light in the dusty basement air.
This post has taught me two things about memory: 1) You can remember something for a very long time if you simply remember to remember it once in a while; and 2) You will always remember times in which you were a complete dumbass.
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Comments
10 responses to “Never Forget”
I have memories of horrible things I did to people just for laughs. They come back to me when I’m sober.
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I have memories of horrible things I did to people just for laughs. They come back to me when I’m sober.
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I find the more trivial and useless the memory is, the more likely I’ll keep it around. This is not one of my favourite traits.
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I find the more trivial and useless the memory is, the more likely I’ll keep it around. This is not one of my favourite traits.
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You’ve unlocked the secret to my memory; I’m a total dumbass nearly all of the time.
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You’ve unlocked the secret to my memory; I’m a total dumbass nearly all of the time.
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One of my earliest childhood memories is my dog barfing all over the place.
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One of my earliest childhood memories is my dog barfing all over the place.
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Oh my, I had also misheard the title of Bohemian Rhapsody to be “Bohemian Rap City”, and I distinctly remember thinking that it was false advertising, because I knew it was not rap. And I also remember Whitemud Drive and Whitemud Crossing (which was two blocks from my house in Edmonton). The sign for Whitemud crossing was always burnt out and displayed “Mud Crossing”, which I found quite hilarious for some reason. That was nostalgic, now I feel a little homesick. Damn you.
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Oh my, I had also misheard the title of Bohemian Rhapsody to be “Bohemian Rap City”, and I distinctly remember thinking that it was false advertising, because I knew it was not rap. And I also remember Whitemud Drive and Whitemud Crossing (which was two blocks from my house in Edmonton). The sign for Whitemud crossing was always burnt out and displayed “Mud Crossing”, which I found quite hilarious for some reason. That was nostalgic, now I feel a little homesick. Damn you.
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