Writing by P.T. Phronk

Writing as P.T. Phronk, I create things that don’t exist, things that might exist, and things that shouldn’t exist—in other words, a mix of fantasy, science fiction, and horror.

I got a PhD in psychology for writing a dissertation about why people like frightening media. Now I work as a brain scientist by day, and continue to tinker with darker creations by night.

I co-founded Forest City Pulp, publishers of provocative fiction. Visit FCP for more info on some of our weird books, read about my main series below, or follow me in various places:


The Other Monsters Series

Stan Lightfoot stalks celebrities for a living, and with the help of his canine companion, Bloody, he can track anyone, anywhere. It’s an ability that comes in handy—especially for a Hollywood-obsessed vampire on a quest to get a taste of her movie star crush.

The Other Monsters series is an ultra-violent take on urban fantasy, with equal parts horror, comedy, bizarro, and mystery.

Get Stars and Other MonstersAmazon | Amazon.ca | Barnes & Noble (NOOK) | KoboApple Books | Scribd | Google Play

Get the sequel, Of Moons and MonstersAmazon.comAmazon.ca (Other stores coming soon)


The Crimson Mysteries Series

The Arborist and Three Incidents at Foster Manor make up the Crimson Mysteries series.

Both are short novels of quiet horror that will make you rethink the things growing just outside your door. They are standalone mysteries that can be read in any order, but with common characters and themes.

Praise for The Arborist: “This short novel has a way of sucking you in and never letting you up for air.” ★★★★★

Get The Arborist: Amazon.com Kindle | Amazon.ca Kindle | Amazon.com Paperback | Amazon.ca Paperback 

Get Three Incidents at Foster Manor: Amazon.com (Kindle) | Amazon.com (Print) | Amazon.ca (Kindle) | Amazon.ca (Print) | Amazon.co.uk (Kindle) | Amazon.co.uk (Print)


Short Stories

Strangers at a Funeral

Brandon notices them at his grandpa’s funeral first: a pair of men in sunglasses who nobody seems to know. They’re not family, they’re not friends, they’re just … there. No big deal, until they show up again at the next funeral. Drawn into a world of funeral selfies and burial crashers, Brandon needs to know what these strangers want from the dead. 

Get Strangers at a Funeral on Amazon.

 Give Me Back My God Damn Arm

When Ford wakes up to find his favorite arm missing, he knows he doesn’t have long before years of progress slip through his fingers. The cops are giving him the cold shoulder, but can he get the upper hand?

Get your god damn copy of Give Me Back My God Damn Arm on Amazon.

Thinking About Polar Bears

Thanks to ironic processing, trying not to think about something will guarantee that it’s all you think about. What’s doubly ironic is trying to use ironic processing to block out intrusive thoughts about, say, the end of the world. And failing.

Thinking About Polar Bears was published (under my real name) on the Pseudopod podcast as part of the very first in the Flash on the Borderlands series. Listen to Pseudopod Episode 141 to hear it in all its musical (seriously) glory.

Snowmen

A contest offered the following rules:

We are looking for you to send to us a brief story (100 – 250 words) using the following opening and closing lines. Opening: “The snowman grinned malevolently as…” Closing: “…buried alive.” The rest is up to you. Fill in the middle with whatever you want. Make us laugh, make us scream, but definitely make us want to read on.

Snowmen is my entry to that contest. Read Snowmen by Phronk here on Wattpad.


Baboon Fart Story

In 2014, I went viral by publishing a book that was literally the word “fart” 100,000 times.

It was a thought experiment turned real experiment to test the limits of quality control in publishing, inspired by author Chuck Wendig’s thoughts on the subject:

I can literally write the word “fart” 100,000 times and slap a cover of baboon urinating into his own mouth, then upload that cool motherfucker right to Amazon. Nobody would stop me. 

Baboon Fart Story rose through the ranks on Amazon before being banned without explanation. Chuck Wendig eventually blocked me on Twitter, too, but I think that was unrelated.

Read about the history and fallout from Baboon Fart Story at Forest City Pulp or read what I think it all means here on this blog.

You can download an electronic edition of Baboon Fart Story at Chuck Wendig’s site (for a donation), or buy a paperback of the enhanced (and not yet banned) second edition on Amazon.

*fart*


Miscellaneous

Some other stuff I’ve written and want to show off.