Phronk.com

Category: horror

  • The Horrors of Internet Dating, Volume 10: What the Fuck is This Shit Edition

    Seriously, what the fuck is this shit? Like…why? Hobbies include: crawling around Photoshop Forest with my ghost arm while my awkward drunken doppelganger hovers above me. (See also: Volume 5’s “what the fuck is this shit” moment.) And this fucking shit. You smear other dudes’ names on your body? That’s supposed to make me like…

  • A Degree of Modesty

    Last week I decided to pop by the university and get a PhD. Since then, a lot of people have been asking, “do you feel any different now that you have a PhD?” Well yes, of course I do. Whenever I insist that someone call me “doctor Phronk”—whether it’s government documents, or my friends, or…

  • Life Isn’t Supposed to Not Be Confusing

    Last night I opened up my drafts folder on Twitter, and found the following half-finished thought that I’d saved earlier: “life isn’t supposed to not be confusing.” * At first I dismissed it as a drunken tweet gone wrong, but once I got over the perplexing double-negative (how meta, drunk self), I realized that maybe…