A letter addressed to Sherlock Holmes begins with “Dear Father.” Then, A Strange Case of Dicklessness gets even weirder.

The “book” is only 12 pages long, so saying any more would give away crucial plot elements. All I can say is: read this. It’s only a buck on Kindle, and if you’re into dicks and horses and horse dicks, as I know you are, you’ll dig it.

Kitty Glitter is a mysterious figure. Her stories are bizarre sequels to movies and tributes to pop culture icons that may or may not be legal. For example, check out the description for “Point Break 2:”

When Bodhi went under and drowned in that fifty year wave he left three cats behind, three cats that would go on their own adventure many years later…

“Point Break 2”, another exciting thriller from the bestselling superstar author of “Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine”!!!

I may have to buy all of her books.

The most shocking part is that she is actually not a bad writer. In A Strange Case of Dicklessness, she demonstrates a knowledge of the Sherlock Holmes mythos and style. Absurdity aside, it could’ve been a well-written tribute to Arthur Conan Doyle.

Let me make another shocking pronouncement: Kitty Glitter is the future of books. As I’ve said before re: episodic fiction, I think short squirts of literary goodness are going to grow in popularity. Many of them will be self-published. That is where someone like Kitty Glitter is a herald of things to come: she could not have existed even five years ago. No agents or publishers in their right minds would touch some ridiculous pseudonym writing ridiculous stories of questionable legality.

Now, it’s not only possible to get ridiculous writing published, but it can find an audience with horsecock-loving motherfuckers like myself.

Mark my words, Internet. The future of books: Kitty Glitter. Kitty. Glitter.