Adventures in Caffeine


Have you heard of Coca Cola Blak? Coke advertises it as “Coke effervescence with coffee essence.” I didn’t know what the hell effervescence meant, so I looked it up. It’s another word for fizzy. Thus, Blak is coffee dumped in fizzy Coke.

The other day, I went to buy a bottle of Diet Coke at Mac’s, and the clerk told me that there was a deal on: Buy two Coke products, get a Blak for free. I can’t pass up trying new stuff, especially for “free”, so I went for it. The guy said that I’d hate him for pointing out the deal. “Because it’s good and I’ll spend too much money on it, or because it tastes horrible?” I asked. “The second one,” he replied.

To my horror, though, it actually tasted pretty damn good to me. Since it’s marketed as an “energy drink”, the stuff costs $2.00 per (tiny half-sized) bottle. Fuck that shit. I immediately got to work on creating my own version of Blak, for a fraction of the price of the real stuff. After many weeks of effort, millions of research dollars, and much trial and error, here is the perfect recipe for pseudo-Blak that tastes just like The Real Thing&copy:

1. Take some Coke.
2. Take some coffee.
3. Mix them together.

You are so lucky I’m giving away this recipe for free. Here are some additional helpful hints: Don’t add cream; aim for about 30-35% coffee in the mix; and drink it cold.

“ENJOY.”

Edit: In a sizzling ball of syncronicity, just as I was writing this post, the following news story broke: DEEP FRIED COKE. I guess it really is possible to deep fry anything.


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34 responses to “Adventures in Caffeine”

  1. Rob Avatar

    Dude!!!! You actually like that crap??? Nikki & I picked up a 4-pack at Price Chopper one day (for $7!!!!). I had one bottle and said to Nikki, “You can have the other three.”. Coke Blak??? More like Coke Blechh.

    Like

  2.  Avatar

    Dude!!!! You actually like that crap??? Nikki & I picked up a 4-pack at Price Chopper one day (for $7!!!!). I had one bottle and said to Nikki, “You can have the other three.”. Coke Blak??? More like Coke Blechh.

    Like

  3. R2K Avatar

    One tablespoon of coke per cup, you fly all night.

    Like

  4.  Avatar

    One tablespoon of coke per cup, you fly all night.

    Like

  5. Timmy Avatar

    it doesnt even sound appealing to me, not one bit.

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  6.  Avatar

    it doesnt even sound appealing to me, not one bit.

    Like

  7. your judgemental aunt Avatar

    let me see if I got this right.1. Take some Coke.2. Take some coffee.3. Mix them together.

    Like

  8.  Avatar

    let me see if I got this right.1. Take some Coke.2. Take some coffee.3. Mix them together.

    Like

  9. Phronk Avatar

    You’re all wrong. It’s good stuff.YJA: You forgot the “resist urge to dump cream in it” step. It would get chunky.

    Like

  10.  Avatar

    You’re all wrong. It’s good stuff.YJA: You forgot the “resist urge to dump cream in it” step. It would get chunky.

    Like

  11. your judgemental aunt Avatar

    I always have to “resist urge to dump cream”

    Like

  12.  Avatar

    I always have to “resist urge to dump cream”

    Like

  13. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Just how much f****** caffeine is enough ? We’re are creating a manic jittery mess of a generation.

    Like

  14.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Just how much f****** caffeine is enough ? We’re are creating a manic jittery mess of a generation.

    Like

  15. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    What if you don’t like coffee?!? Can I substitute a nice darjeeling?

    Like

  16.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    What if you don’t like coffee?!? Can I substitute a nice darjeeling?

    Like

  17. Butchieboy Avatar

    I didn’t like it. I was dissapointed.

    Like

  18.  Avatar

    I didn’t like it. I was dissapointed.

    Like

  19. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Food logic: Shrimp goes good with chocolate. This is like that. Or not.

    Like

  20.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Food logic: Shrimp goes good with chocolate. This is like that. Or not.

    Like

  21. Salem Avatar

    I’m scared i might like it.

    Like

  22.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I’m scared i might like it.

    Like

  23. Salem Avatar

    No. I don’t

    Like

  24.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    No. I don’t

    Like

  25. Phronk Avatar

    Dang. I’m sorry I lead you guys astray. I seriously kinda like it though.Perhaps Dr. Zombie’s suggestion to substitute tea would fare better. It’d be a sort of iced tea/coke combo. Hmmmm.

    Like

  26.  Avatar

    Dang. I’m sorry I lead you guys astray. I seriously kinda like it though.Perhaps Dr. Zombie’s suggestion to substitute tea would fare better. It’d be a sort of iced tea/coke combo. Hmmmm.

    Like

  27. R2K Avatar

    Dude how is it free? They made you buy two coke products when you were only going to get one in the first place, I can assume. That means you pay twice the expected already. And now you have 3x the bad health.

    Like

  28.  Avatar

    Dude how is it free? They made you buy two coke products when you were only going to get one in the first place, I can assume. That means you pay twice the expected already. And now you have 3x the bad health.

    Like

  29. Phronk Avatar

    That’s why I put “free” in scare quotes. 🙂But in my defense, Coke pretty much lasts forever, and I would have bought more Coke eventually. So in the long run, it was free. Plus I needed Coke to do my little experiment which screws Coke out of more money…so really, I made money out of the deal. Yup.

    Like

  30.  Avatar

    That’s why I put “free” in scare quotes. :)But in my defense, Coke pretty much lasts forever, and I would have bought more Coke eventually. So in the long run, it was free. Plus I needed Coke to do my little experiment which screws Coke out of more money…so really, I made money out of the deal. Yup.

    Like

  31. Steven Avatar

    I’m surprised no one decided to mix Coke with 7-Up.Coke-Up: The perfect high-impact beverage!

    Like

  32.  Avatar

    I’m surprised no one decided to mix Coke with 7-Up.Coke-Up: The perfect high-impact beverage!

    Like

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