Check out this story. Summary:
A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
Sorry to bring up religion once again, but this is just hilarious (well, less so for the family of the guy, but even they probably had a few guffaws). Apparently the lion went right for him as soon as he went into the enclosure thinking God would protect him.
Now, is this proof that God does not exist, or does it just show that He hates stupid people? And that He has the ability commandeer the free will of lions in order to maul his enemies.
Or maybe this guy just prayed to the wrong god. There are thousands of gods out there, and most of them get pissed when you pray to a competing god. Maybe he got to the afterlife and met some eight-legged giraffe with the head of a rhino, who said “Hi, I’m The One True God. Sorry, but none of you humans figured out that I’m the right god to worship, so I have to kill you all in creative ways and send you to hell for all eternity. I was trying out something new with you. How’d it feel?”
Speaking of animals, HERE is Samuel L. Jackson talking about how awesome Snakes on a Plane will be. Kickass.
P.S. Is “all eternity” redundant?
Phronk.com 
Comments
38 responses to “How to Protect Your Carotid Artery”
What a fool! Didn’t he know that Daniel was the only one who God saved from the lions? Well, he got what he deserved – apparently dumb people are delicious!
LikeLike
What a fool! Didn’t he know that Daniel was the only one who God saved from the lions? Well, he got what he deserved – apparently dumb people are delicious!
LikeLike
[joke about how delicious Dani must be]
LikeLike
[joke about how delicious Dani must be]
LikeLike
Ya gotta figger stupid people don’t play much ofa role in the destiny of the earth…then again…”Stupid” bein’ relative…whodafuckknowz?…Some people’ll tellya that stupid people DO have a role in the destiny of the Earth, az well…“W”I asked a guy once ’bout his opinion of God and his answer wuz..”It’s fer stupid people..followers that don’t have a clue..”It’s all kinda confusin’ toda Stevo…but I ain’t gittin’ my dick chopped off ta find out…I ain’t THAT confused..I kinda figger that the Bible’s a primer for whatever comes next…Reincarnation makes more sense…70-90 yrs of livin ain’t enuff time ta figger all dis shit out..Jus sayin’
LikeLike
Ya gotta figger stupid people don’t play much ofa role in the destiny of the earth…then again…”Stupid” bein’ relative…whodafuckknowz?…Some people’ll tellya that stupid people DO have a role in the destiny of the Earth, az well…”W”I asked a guy once ’bout his opinion of God and his answer wuz..”It’s fer stupid people..followers that don’t have a clue..”It’s all kinda confusin’ toda Stevo…but I ain’t gittin’ my dick chopped off ta find out…I ain’t THAT confused..I kinda figger that the Bible’s a primer for whatever comes next…Reincarnation makes more sense…70-90 yrs of livin ain’t enuff time ta figger all dis shit out..Jus sayin’
LikeLike
He died for our sins. He should rise again in about 3 days.Oh wait… I’m getting confused.
LikeLike
He died for our sins. He should rise again in about 3 days.Oh wait… I’m getting confused.
LikeLike
Aslan did rise again… and went on to rule all of Narnia after killing the evil Queen Tilda-something after she killed him first and those nice Pevensie girls petted his dead body for a real long time. And at some point I think Aslan ate some guy in a zoo.
LikeLike
Aslan did rise again… and went on to rule all of Narnia after killing the evil Queen Tilda-something after she killed him first and those nice Pevensie girls petted his dead body for a real long time. And at some point I think Aslan ate some guy in a zoo.
LikeLike
Jesus wanted me to let you guys know that he doesn’t find your comments funny at all and he’s getting kinda mad.
LikeLike
Jesus wanted me to let you guys know that he doesn’t find your comments funny at all and he’s getting kinda mad.
LikeLike
Well as long as he doesn’t get “poopy.”
LikeLike
Well as long as he doesn’t get “poopy.”
LikeLike
Phronk, I don’t believe this story. I think you’re lion to us. JAJAJA!
LikeLike
Phronk, I don’t believe this story. I think you’re lion to us. JAJAJA!
LikeLike
You guys make me ROFLCOPTER
LikeLike
You guys make me ROFLCOPTER
LikeLike
Hi there… I came over after you defended me on Dani’s site…. well, you didnt defend me, but you did point out that she hadn’t addressed my comment directly… just danced around under a shower of bible quotes. Anyway, I thought I’d stop by because your “atheists thinking they are god is like vegetarians thinking they are cows” comment… man, that cracked me up!I’m glad I caught this post on my first visit… praise zeus! I’m also a big fan of logic and philosophy so perhaps we can be friends in blogland. Peace!
LikeLike
Hi there… I came over after you defended me on Dani’s site…. well, you didnt defend me, but you did point out that she hadn’t addressed my comment directly… just danced around under a shower of bible quotes. Anyway, I thought I’d stop by because your “atheists thinking they are god is like vegetarians thinking they are cows” comment… man, that cracked me up!I’m glad I caught this post on my first visit… praise zeus! I’m also a big fan of logic and philosophy so perhaps we can be friends in blogland. Peace!
LikeLike
Perhaps God is just impatient like the rest of us and wanted to speed up the reincarnation process??
LikeLike
Perhaps God is just impatient like the rest of us and wanted to speed up the reincarnation process??
LikeLike
I’ve spoken to God, and he really does hate stupid people.
LikeLike
I’ve spoken to God, and he really does hate stupid people.
LikeLike
God and I both like grilled cheese sandwiches.
LikeLike
God and I both like grilled cheese sandwiches.
LikeLike
This was a real life example of what the true meaning of the word ‘hubris’ is.
LikeLike
This was a real life example of what the true meaning of the word ‘hubris’ is.
LikeLike
i have my level 2 st. john’s ambulance 1st aid certificate, so i know all about this shit….but if someone’s artery was splurting blood everywhere, guess if i’d help or run the fuck away. that’s right.
LikeLike
i have my level 2 st. john’s ambulance 1st aid certificate, so i know all about this shit….but if someone’s artery was splurting blood everywhere, guess if i’d help or run the fuck away. that’s right.
LikeLike
Didn’t Jesus say something about not putting God to the test?Read the book.
LikeLike
Didn’t Jesus say something about not putting God to the test?Read the book.
LikeLike
God enjoys a good laugh now and then, too.
LikeLike
God enjoys a good laugh now and then, too.
LikeLike
This is not evidence against God’s existence, but rather evidence that God has given free will to all creatures with brains of any size and level of development. If I were a lion, I’d have eaten the guy too.
LikeLike
This is not evidence against God’s existence, but rather evidence that God has given free will to all creatures with brains of any size and level of development. If I were a lion, I’d have eaten the guy too.
LikeLike
Best regards from NY! < HREF="http://www.buy-modafinil.info" REL="nofollow">Where can i buy modafinil<> < HREF="http://www.tattooremovaloakland.info/Cheap-area-rugs-persin.html" REL="nofollow">Laser tattoo removal adina<> < HREF="http://www.erotic-story-0.info/Adult-dvd-sales.html" REL="nofollow">Free adult sex stories women in panties<> < HREF="http://www.volvo-3.info/Chrysler_2_4l_modifications.html" REL="nofollow">Volvo brake dust<>
LikeLike
Best regards from NY! Where can i buy modafinil Laser tattoo removal adina Free adult sex stories women in panties Volvo brake dust
LikeLike