I’ve gotten some weird spam lately. Here is an example:
We just interest will u read spam if
it will contain something like this :
Lazy Sock Puppets
Why don’t sock puppets ever get anything done?
They always have a thumb up their a$$!
Men and Women
I’M GLAD I’M A MAN
I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe; I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese.
I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where
I want to — north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears.
I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.
And I don’t go around checking my reflection; in everything shiny from every direction.
I don’t whine in public and make us leave early; and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I’M GLAD I’M A WOMAN
I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am; I don’t live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam.
I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections; I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions.
I don’t get wasted at parties and act like a clown; and I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!
I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt; my belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer gut.
And I don’t go around “re-adjusting” my crotch; or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
I don’t belch in public, I don’t scratch my behind.
P.S. mail to email@example.com
1) We do not unsubscribe anymore becouse abusses go to unsubscribe url.
2) If we unsubscribe u others spamers are not.
3) If u abuse this e-mail we will never make spam more usefull.
This spam isn’t even advertising anything…it’s just telling me that it is spam, then some sort of “jokes”, and an email address. I guess they want me to e-mail the address with something like “OMG…WTF?”, and then verify that my address is real and they can start selling it to real spammers. Weird way of going about it though.
Here is another one:
Subject: Learn to build simple and clean websites that can bring in the dough
Enabling the digital future.
You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.
PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
The body has nothing to do with the subject. Because the body makes no sense. Particularly weird is the bizarre definition of a phonograph. What does this spammer have against phonographs? And why is he sharing it with me?
But both of these got through my spam filter, so I guess they’re doing something “right”.
Some good can come of spam. I can post it here for the amusement of others. Or I could go through the spam subject lines and make little poorly drawn comics based on each one. Unfortunately, somebody has already done that at Spamusement.com. Check it out.